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May 11, 2010     The Ortonville Independent
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May 11, 2010

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Friends are crucial for caregivers Facing the cancer battle of a loved one is a daunting task, especially when you&apos;re a primary caregiver. During this difficult time, says author Joni Aldrich, you can't overestimate the importance of having the unconditional support of friends. When you contemplate the signifi- cance of a circle, there are many asso- ciations that come to mind, including the phrase "circle of life." In reality, circles have always had both spiritual and mystical significance, dating back to the beginning of time. Consider the circular shape of Stonehenge. Then look up into the sky and see the two spherical' shapes of the moon and the sun. Much closer to home than celestial orbs is our "circle of friends." When you think about it, in this hectic time of work, work, work-- well, friends are a rare commodity indeed. You see, friendships have to be nurtured or they'll wither and fade. That takes ad- ditional work and a lot of heart, be- cause there are times in life when friendships are tested and tried. When cancer invades your life or the life of a family member or friend, the true meaning of "friendship" becomes ap- parent. At no time in life are friends more valuable than when your world has been invaded by the shock and cri- sis of a life-threatening disease. "In 2004, my husband, Gordon, was diagnosed with cancer," says Joni Aldrich, author of The Saving of Gor- don: Lifelines to W-I-N Against Can- cer (Cancer Lifeline Publications, 2009, ISBN: 978-1-4392550-3-2, $19.95). "In one day, my life changed completely. Thankfully, my friends didn't. They were my 'constant.' They were there to remind me that I was loved and that I was never alone, and they were there to make sure that my burden was never more than what I could bear. "There were many days when my friends literally kept me sane," she con- tinues. "The cancer years were full of agonizing struggles. I vividly remem- ber one of the worst days, when Gor- don's first oncologist called me at work and told me that he had given up on my husband. I asked if we should seek treatment elsewhere. The doctor re- sponded that it was now a 'salvage op- eration.' And I fell apart. My friend Becky immediately came to my aid and helped me get out of the office. She calmed me enough so that I was able to make it home without hitting a tree. What would have happened, if she had not been there to support me?" Here are some suggestions from Joni for helping a friend during a trau- matic cancer crisis: Make sure that your friend is aware that you want to be helpful and in- volved. Having a friend who volun- teers to help and upon whom a caregiver can depend is critical. This doesn't mean that you have to be "clingy"--just call and visit often. Don't wait to be asked to bring things. People are sometimes too proud and self-sufficient to accept help when it's offered, and sometimes they might be unable to articulate even to them- selves what they need. If you're going to visit, why not take a pot of soup, a casserole, or muffins along with you? These items can be frozen and used later if they are not needed immedi- atelconsiderY- " a care package of staples. Flowers, cards, and other traditional "thinking of you" gifts will always be appreciated by caregiVing friends, but keep in mind that the items caregivers need most are more mundane. Non- perishable food is always good to have on hand, or you could pick up a box of tissues, paper towels, or any item that tends to be used up quickly. You might also consider providing supplies for the patient: alcohol swabs, lip balm, un- scented skin moisturizer, hand sani- tizer, a warm blanket--all these things are inexpensive, but useful. Friends have to be available for "consultation" 24/7. Emotions don't keep regular working, or even waking, hours. No, you may not like that call in the middle of the night; but that might be the time your friend needs you the most. She might simply be unable to sleep, or she might be sitting up in the emergency room or the surgical wait- ing room at some unusual hours. Since those occasions are often unexpected, your friend will probably be alone-- technically. Being a true friend means that you have your "available" sign on, no matter what time it is. Aid is especially important when the patient is receiving treatment out of town. The patient's needs and concems, and those of his family, grow exponen- tially when it becomes necessary to leave home for treatment. Many new complications present themselves, such as mail that needs to be collected, pet care, and yard work. If these responsi- bilities are shared between dependable friends, the load becomes more bear- able. Obituaries Patsy Cornelisen Memorial services for Patsy Cornelisen were held on Saturday, May 8, 2010 at Zion Lutheran Church in Ortonville. Pastor John Ragan officiated. Burial will be at a later date in Mound Cemetery. Patsy Ann Nelson was born on Nov. 7, 1954 in , Round Lake to parents Edgar and Lila (Zilm) Nelson. Patsy attended school in Adrian, where she graduated with the class of 1973. Patsy was united in marriage to Raymond Cornelisen on Aug. 28, 1981 in Luverne. In 1991, Ray and Patsy moved to Ortonville. When they first moved to Ortonville, Patsy was employed at Northridge Residence for seven years as a Nurse's Aide. After Ray and Patsy were married, Ray's grandmother taught Patsy to cook, and later, she took that knowledge to the Hilltop Caf6, where she worked for 12 years. After Hilltop, she worked at Trevett's Caf6, and then Taco John's, where she worked until her death. Patsy was a very generous person, always willing to help anyone who needed. She was a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother, she never gave up on anybody or anything, Patsy was always moving, always doing something, she didn't know how to slow down. Patsy enjoyed knitting, she made afghans and placernats. She had a love for cats; she had six Siamese cats that she treasured; she was definitely not a dog person! Patsy liked the music of Elvis Presley; although, she choose to listen to AC/DC when she was cleaning. She had two grandchildren who were her life, she loved them dearly. Patsy loved her friends and family and thoroughly enjoyed spending time with them. According to Ray, she was the best woman he knew, they stuck together through thick and thin. They would have celebrated their 30th Phllis Lorraine Dittes Arneson wedding anniversary this August. Patsy died on May 5, 2010, in Milbank, SD. She had lived to reach the age of 55 years old. Patsy is survived by husband, Ray; sons: Delaine Nelson of Sioux Falls, SD, Derek Cornelisen of Appleton; daughter Jessica (Jeremy) Docktor of Ortonville; two grandchildren Anthony Cornelisen and Arianna Docktor, both Ortonville; Mother Lila of Adrian; parents-in-law Don and Marlys Cornelisen of Ortonville; brothers: Ke'vin (Pare) Nelson of Willmar, and Rick Nelson of Adrian; sisters: Dellcene (Mike) Truty of Slatton, Mary Theis of Adrian, Laura (Marc) Van Buren of Ceder Rapids, IA; several nieces, nephews, other relatives and friends. Patsy was preceded in death by her father Edgar and one brother Doug Nelson. Larson Funeral Home in Ortonville was in charge of arrangements. To send condolences to the family on-line visit our website at Our loving mother, grandmothe G great grandmother, sister and friend, left us to go into her loving father in heavens' arms on Saturday, May 1, 2010. Phyllis was born on May 22, 1922 in Milbank, SD, to Henry and Mathilda (Kamin) Dittos. She was the oldest of five children. She was raised in the Ortonville area, graduating from Ortonville high school in 1940. first daughter Lorri. Several years later, their daughter Keli was born. In the spring of 1962 the family traveled west and settled in Bozeman, MT on Calvin's mother's ranch, in the four corners area. Phyllis, who taught herself to sew at six years of age, worked for several area dress shops, including Chambers Fishers, Hartman-Mockel, Angionettes, Corral West, and Williams Clothiers, and she sewed personally for many area people. Calvin and Phyllis owned Northside Meat Market in Bozeman for many years. Phyllis was a lifetime member of the VFW Ladies Auxiliary, Hope Bob (Dilyn) of Bozeman, David (Shanna) of Bayview, ID; Leroy (Karen) of Belgrade, MT and Keti (Kelly) Harrigfeld of Toston, MT; 15 grandchildren-Denny's: Eric and Heidi, Lisi Frum, and Tracey (Andrew) Morea; Bob's: James (Sandy) Conrad, Chris (Aubrey), and Kevin; David's: Chad and Jacob; Leroy's: Joey (Kara) and Jerry; Keli's: Patrick (Rusti), Daniel (Kendyl), Amanda and Ceara Harrigfeld; and 13 (and one on the way) great grandchildren. Brothers Karl (Lois) Dittos of Wilimar, and Harold (Rosella) (WWW) Dittes of Ortonville, and many nieces, nephews C :   She met the lve f her life' Calvin Lutheran Church' and humorus and s many dear friends" ,Y "17.     i were married in Camp Clayborn, LA Phyllis was preceded in death by the VFW Auxiliary, Montana Special  i' i :: i'.   ./ i:. !i A. Arneson, in Ortonville, and they volunteer organizations. The family suggests memorials to ....................... ." !   in 1941, right before he left to go to husband Calvin, daughter and son-in- Olympics, or Bozeman Senior Center ii :ii ' :* Calvin returned after the war ended, grandson Christopher Arneson, her Memorial services will be held at i ii  i  :: : North Africa for World War II. When law Lorri and Patrick .Roberts, in lieu of flowers. 9111  he was welcomed home by Phyllis parents, her brother, Ralph, his wife, 10 a.m. Monday, May 31, at Hope iii and their first bom, two-year-old son Ruth, and son Loren Dittes, and an Lutheran Church on South 19th. Dennis, in 1944. The next few years infant sister. Arrangements are in the care 'of ILl FJIIIilS brought three more sons, Robert, Phyllis is survived by children: Dokken-Nelson Funeral Service SUPPOBT OUR Fill . . David, and Leroy, followed by tlaeir Denny (Kathy) of Hayden Lake, ID; Eileen "Lee" Stolpman00 Betty Louise (Brookman) King ":< ,, :!i! ! i!i ii!i!il iE::::':':"" Eileen "Lee" Stolpman passed Tom Stolpman, Patty Stolpman (Jerry Betty King passed away May 5, retirement in 1984. away on Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at the Wallace), Mary (Clint)*Schult'z,.Beth 2010 at her Wexford Place home in After retiring, Betty and Charlie age of 49. She was born on Sept. 12, Stolpman and Roy Stotpman; nieces Kansas City, MO. wintered at their home in McAllen, i960 in Madis0n and was the sixth of and nephews, Sam, Becca, Aaron, Betty was born in Clarinda, IA on TX and lived at their lake home on eight Cfiiidren in the Wendelin and i Erica and Spencer; relatives and May 9, 1924 to Maude and William Big Stone Lake in Ortonville during Kay Stolpman family of Rosen. friends. (Bill) Brookman of Blanchard, IA. the spring and summer. When Charlie She was preceded in death by her A Celebration of Life will be held She attended Blanchard High School passed in 2001, Betty continued to parents Wendelin. "WJ" and Kathryn for Lee on Wednesday, May 12 from where she excelled both academically winter in McAllen and summer at the Monday, May 17, 2010 - 5 PM  N'E-W'.t  W-T-----" .... Latex and Enamel Paint - Stains - Sealers Spray Paints - Varnish - Paint Shaker Nuts - Bolts - Screws - Nails - Signs Rubber Boots - Misc. Filters Kitchenwares - Misc. Automotive ELECTRICAL Fuses - Junction Boxes - Light Bulbs Outlet Boxes - Tape - Wire Nuts Terminal Lugs - Strapping - Wire Receptacles - Plates - Water Tight Fittings Switches - Adaptors - Thermostats Fuse Boxes - Supply Boxes - baltist PLUMBING Galvanized Pipe Fittings - Faucets White and Black PVC Fittings Faucet Repair Parts - Valves Complete Faucet Repair Center Brass Fittings - Hoses - Teflon Tape Dryer Vents - Drains and Drain Assemblys House Numbers - Mop Heads Couple of Power Fie Rollers Hardware Liquidation SALE WILL BE CONDUCTED BY: r" ................  AUCTION CLERKING !  REAL ESTATE BROKER FARRELL AUCTIOIERS REAL ESTATE APPRAISER ] ; ,ff'[. a; PO, BOX 190. Milbank, SD " 3 Phone 605432-5285 Mobi!e 605-880-5018 NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ACCIDENTS National Pet Dental Health Month Ask about the canine dental vaccine from Pfizer that aids in the prevention of periodontal disease In -- In[ COUPON i-- -- inn I FREEOral i I Assessment I I THURSDAY I AFTERNOONS I by appointment only |  Expires 2-28-09 i We recommend Hills Prescription Diet t/d Food Specially formulated to clean pets teeth while they eat. Call about promotions for dentals scheduled In February 517 -4th Ave. W. Milbank, SD Phone 605.432.9501 Fax 605.432.5978 Dr. Richard R. Lentz "Kay" Stolpman, and niece, Lisa. She is survived by boyfriend Mike Olson; siblings, Kate Stolpman (Larry Engbloom), Barbara "BJ" Stolpman, 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. at the Cremation Society of Minnesota, 7110 France Ave. S., Edina, MN, 55435. Phone number (952) 924-4100. tll ,n.e.endentAds Get.ot,ce III (You re reading this one aren t you?) If you've suffered a traumatic injury, whether or not the injury was related to ANY military activity, YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO UP TO $100,000 through TSGLI benefits you've already paid for. Call 100-965633 to see if you qualify. SFC Jolrles Rolshouse (Ret) OIF 06-08 James Rolshouse & Associates I Lowyers ot J0rn R01sh0use &/L:,ociotes ore licensed in -- 7-"-- I/,iN ond NV with pdndpd offices in Bumswile, MN. lE,_lllll[e]lli;lglim I:DI''I.I'.B..'f .$ ] and athletically. She played girl's basketball for Blanchard where she was a leading scorer and five year letter winner. After graduating from High School, Betty married Charles A. King. They moved to San Diego, CA and worked in an anti-aircraft factory until 1943 when Charlie enlisted in the US Army. Betty returned to Blanchard and worked for Lisle Company in Clarinda. After Charlie's discharge from the Army in 1945, Betty and Charlie farmed near Elmo, MO and then near College Springs, IA. In 1956, they moved to Ortonville where Betty worked for the Agriculture, Stabilization, Conversation Service (ASCS) and Charlie worked for the Soil Conservation Service (SCS) until their King Family lake home near Branson, MO until 2007 when she moved to Wexford Place in Kansas City, MO. During her life, Betty especially liked to interact with people. She also enjoyed playing bridge, watching basketball games, playing golf, participating in all kinds of social events, growing flowers, hosting family dinners, going to the lake, and most of all, spending time with her family. Also, Betty attended the Methodist Church and supported a variety of church related activities. Betty is survived by her son, Terry King, and her daughter-in-law, Lois (Edwards) King, her grandson, Tim King and his wife Heather, and her granddaughter Brenda Boswell, and her spouse, Zach. Share a meal and conversation with others on the first, second, and third Wednesdays of each month. 1st Wednesday - Browns Valley, MN May 5, 2010 - Noon - Larson Funeral Home 2rid Wednesday - Graceville, MN May 12, 2010 -Noon - Larson Funeral Home 3rd Wednesday - Ortonville, MN May 19, 2010 - Noon - Matador All are welcome. Attend whenever you can at any of the locations. Meals are on your own. Come to know and understand the healing power of permission and comfort of sharing "Common Grounds". Page 8 00INDEPENDENT Tuesday, May 11,2010 T