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November 29, 2011     The Ortonville Independent
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Eating Disorders: How to Offer Support :i.~Ifyou are a spouse or parent of s~meone with an eating disorder, you a3~e all too aware of thai feeling of helplessness as you watch your loved One's physical and psychological ckmdition deteriorate. You may notice c~anges in personality. An individual treatment can seem like you are being critical of her and seeing only her flaws. 11. Be empathetic. 12. Listen. 13. Ask open-ended questions (questions that require an explanation, rather than simply a yes or no response) when asking questions, in 3. Be patient with her. realizing that changing thought patterns, habits. and behaviors takes time. 4. Be honest with him. but not judgmental and critical. 5. Respect her freedom to make her own decisions and choices. For example, what she eats or decides not to eat. 0~ay turn from being sociable and order to expand your understanding of 6. Avoid power struggles over food tr~ergetic to being withdrawn and how the other person thinks or feels, and other issues. He will only resent d~pressed. 14. Encourage him to express hisyou for taking his power of control ;.~ If you suspect a family member or feelings. fi'iend has an eating disorder, you 15. Don't blame or manipulate her away from him. 7. Do not monitor her food intake sh:ould discuss your concerns into change with shame or guilt, and behavior. p~:ivate with the person. It is 16. Don't give ultimatums. 8. Refrain from giving advice. ix6portant to address these issues 17. Help him to understand there is 9. Try to minimize, rather than e~rlier rather than later after one no shame in seeking professional help. maximize his anxiety level. For b~ecomes entrenched in eating Help him see therapy as an example, don't bring up subjects at disordered thought patterns, opportunity to make one's life better meals that might upset him. (and you want the best for him). 10. Make her responsible for her 18. Remember eating disorders areown behavior. For example, cleaning complex illnesses, so don't offerup the bathroom after vomiting orBOARD OF EVANGELISM at Trinity Lutheran Church Of Ortonville held their Annual Free Community simplistic solutions, such as "just eat buying food she binges on. Thanks ivin g Day Dinner Thursday, NOV 24. It was their way of reaching out and giving those who would oth- more." 11. Don t be an enabler by erwiseDeal~nef~rtheh~~iday~ap~acet~enj~yag~~dmea~andfe~~~wship.Thisyearab~ut135wereserved 19. Reaffirm your love or inconveniencing yourself to a turkey dinner with all the tr,mmings. Approximately $530 in donations were received, which will be turned friendship with the person, explaining accommodate his eating disorder over to Project Christmas. Last years donations went to the local food shelf. They wish to give a huge thank you like him, but not the eating needs, such as by only preparing foods you to all the volunteers who worked so hard to make this another success. disorder part of him that is destroying he will eat or avoiding social eating him and your relationship, situations. behaviors, and habits. Generally, the longer one has an eating disorder, the longer treatment will take. It is very difficult for most people t~5'talk to others and admit to their eating disorder. Most people feel ashamed and embarrassed by their problem. Additionally, those with this illness may fear losing the safety of their eating disorder. Eating disorders are negative ways of coping with conflict, stress, and negative feelings, but these negative coping mechanisms feel safe and comfortable, so they are difficult to break. The list below suggests how to approach the fragile discussion of addressing someone's eating disorder: I. Approach the person when you are composed, not when you are emotionally upset. 2. Choose a place where you can talk privately without interruption. 3. Be gentle and express your concerns for the other person. 4. Explain that you genuinely care about her and want the best for her. 5. Don't vent your anger or other n~gative feelings. 20. Don't let this discussion turn into an argument. Rather than argue, simply reiterate your concerns and leave it atlhat. 21. Be persistent (without pestering) in your efforts to encourage him to seek professional help. 22. Be prepared to provide contact information of treatment providers and information on eating disorders, if he is willing to seek treatment. 23. Offer to accompany him to an initial appointment. 24. Tell him you are available for her to confide in you, if she wants to talk to you. 25. Explain to him you are ready to support him in whatever way he needs help. 26. Respect an adult's decision to 12. Say things that build her self- Caregiver Newsletter 2-17-11 written esteem, such as pointrng out herby Christopher Clark. Mr. Clark is the strengths, her positive character traits, founder and executive director of The and what you admire about her. National Association for Males with 13. Acknowledge his progress in Eating Disorders. Inc. (N.A.M.E.D.) therapy by pointing out his changes in If you would like more information on his behavior and way of thinking, "Eating Disorders: How to Offer ability to better connect with others in Support" feel free to contact Gail relationships, and improvements in Gilman-Waldner. Program character, functioning, and mood. Development and Coordination - 14. Don't make comments, even Minnesota River Area Agency on positive ones, about weight, Aging@. Inc. and Professor Emeritus appearance, eating, or exercise as - University of Minnesota at 507-389- these may be taken the wrong way. For example, don't say "you look healthier" as this may be interpreted by the person with the eating disorder as "I look fatter." 15. Be a model of effective coping skills, healthy food attitudes and 8869 or e-mail Gail at ggwaldner@rndc.org. Additional resources are availa~ole by contacting the Senior LinkAge Lined at 1-800- 333-2433 or visiting the MinnesotaHelp.Info website at www.MinnesotaHelp.Info. 6. Use "I statements" rather than "'you statements." For example, "I feel refuse treatment as long as his behaviors, and moderate exercise. ..." rather than "you make me feel ..." condition is not life-threatening. If his 16. Watch your language. For 7. Give examples of why you condition is life-threatening, consult a example, don't label food as good/bad suspect the person has an eatingtherapist for an intervention to get him and safe/unsafe. disorder, into treatment. " 17. Don't talk about other people's 8. Help him see not only how hisThe next question is, "How do I appearance and weight and dieting to eating disorder affects his physical continue to give on-going support to a her or anyone. Talking about these health, but also help him understand family member or friend with an things objectifies people, basing their how it affects his relationships and functioning, and interferes with achieving his goals, and how it makes him feel. 9. Avoid being judgmental and critical. 10. Build-up her self-esteem by emphasizing her good qualities and her strengths, what you admire about her. It is =mportant to do this. because encouraging someone to seek 7 Small-Town Minnesota Post Offices Closing It was announced last week that seven small community Minnesota post offices are closing for good. The towns that will lose their post offices are Steen, in southwestern Minnesota: as well as Silver Creek, Taopi, Kenneth. Clements, Trail and Holland. Alexandria Support Group for Families The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) of Minnesota spon- sors free support groups for families who have a relative with a mental ill- ness. l~d by trained facilitators who also have a family member with men- tal illness, the support groups help families develop better coping skills and find strength through sharing their experiences. A family support group meets in Alexandria at 6:00 p.m., on the sec- ond Tuesday of the month, at Alexandria Technical & Community College, 1601 Jefferson St., in Room 121. For infoi'mation, call Marie at 763-291-4241. Lakeside Dance Club to host dance eating disorder?" If someone remains worth on external, rather than internal in denial of their eating disorder, qualities. continue from time-to-time to express 18. If you hear others making your concern for the person and comments about someone related to encourage him to seek treatment, but appearance and weight, shift the do so without pestering. If the person emphasis to the person's internal acknowledges'his Or her eating qualities. If someone is talking about disorder and seeks professional help, dieting in order to lose weight, shift support him or her in the therapeutic the emphasis to health. process. Eating disorders may involve a lengthy time in therapy and most likely will be marked by steps forward and steps backwards. Be patient and understanding of the person with the eating disorder. The following offers a list of ways tO support a person with an eating disorder: 1. Be willing to listen when he'is ready to confide in you. 2. Be empathetic, understanding the challenges in overcoming an eating disorder. 19. Educate yourself about eating disorders, so you are better able to help and support the person with the eating disorder. 20. Be willing to participate in therapy, if asked. 21. Be willing to seek professional help for your own issues or-to get help coping with your loved one's eating disorder. Article adapted from Fearless If you're happy and you know it... ...write a letter to the editor! A gift subscription to the o I N_D_EP_E N D E N T I Brings them the news from the Independent. It makes a great gift idea they will appreciate 52 times next year! | Name I Address. I Make gift giving easy, subscribe for one year for your son, daughter, parent or friend. We'll send a card in your name to the recipient! I~ lml lll llll ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ lll l ~ lll Oll ~1 r" Please send a gift subscription to: l l l I $40.00 per year: elsewhere in A gift from Address $35.00 per year: n Big Stone, Lac qui Parle, Traverse, Swift Counties in Minnesota and Grant and Roberts Counties in South Dakota. | Minnesota and South Dakota. $45.00 per year: in all areas outside of Minnesota and I South Dakota. I I Amount Enclosed. J I~ll lll ~BI llB ~ll"ira ~ll llm mm ml BIB B~I ~ ml Bll Send us the coupon or stop by the I Ortonville I Independent 29 NW Second St. Ortonville, MN 320-839-6163 Stone Area Growth funds available for businesses Big Stone Area Growth (BSAG) has funds available for businesses looking to start or expand. The intent of the loan fund is to create at least one new job for every $10,000 loaned out to area businesses. The fund acts as a gap lender by filling in business funding needs that aren't available from traditional sources such as banks and other busi- ness development loan funds. Loan Funds can be used for a vari- ety of activities, including land, con- struction, equipment and operating capital. The loan fund will not act as the sole lender in a project and requires the business to provide some equity into the project. The sole purpose of BSAG is to expand the economic base of Big Stone County by assisting with busi- ness development, workforce devel- opment and community development. Funding for this program was made possible through the USDA Rural Business Enterprise Grant program. For more information, please visit BSAG's website at www.bigston- eareagrowth.com or by calling 320- 839-6155. II III Water Softeners and Salt Delivery to Your Home or Office/ WE SERVICE ALL MAKES OFSOFTENERS Serving the Big Stone Lake Areal What type of Medicare plan is right for you? As a licensed agent, I can help you decide. Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Minnesota has been helping people with Medicare since the program began. Together, we can review your options and choose the coverage that best meets your needs. Contact me today. // Beth Mueller, Agent KINDT AGENCY, INC. 113 NW First Street Ortonville, MN 56278 320-839-6145 A Medicare-approved Part D sponsor and a health plan with Medicare contracts. Plans are available to residents of the service area. You can also call Blue Cross for plan information or to enroll. Call 1-877-662-2583, TrY users call 1-866-582-1158, 8 a.m. - 8 p.m., daily. Service representatives and licensed sales representatives are available when you call this number. H2461 091311 N06 File & Use 09/24/2011 Y0052--091411--B06 MN File & Use 09/24/2011 Authorized independent agent/agency for Blue Cross" and Blue Shield" of Minnesota, a nonprofit independent licensee of the Blue Cross and Blue Shield Association. Every Friday & Saturday Until Sale Hours: 10:00 AM,4:00 PM or by appointment Children's Toys We have added a lot! Beer Collectibles Pepsi Collectibles Doilies Linens Tablecloths Jewelry Furniture And Much More New Shipment of Watts Ware/ The asure Bill and Deb Wiik 350 Main St. (Hwy. 12) Big Stone City, SD 57216 Phone 605.880.1775 or 605.862.6047 The Winter Dance Club will host The Velvet Brass Dec. 4 from 3-7 p.m. at the Lakeside Ballroom m Glenwood. Both longtime and beginning ball- room dancers from dozens of Minnesota communities will gather to enjoy the great music and health ben- efits of dancing. Everyone is welcome to join in the dancing fun! Admission Is $20 per couple. Admission for Dancers 17 to 25 years old is $10 per couple. Passes are available for a season of dances. There is a dress code of no jeans. For more information see the club web site: lakesideballroom.org, or contact Barbara Benson, at winter- dance@lakesideballroom.org or 320- 763-6432. (ADV) ":" ~.. Tuesday, Nov. 29,2011 INDEPENDENT Page 9